Just Ride the Wave

  Most anyone who has lost someone has found themselves in the typically uncomfortable and even painful position of wanting to, and in some cases actually making the moves to, pick up the phone to call that person. This could be once in your life, once in a blue moon, every day, every minute. Most times, we reach for the phone, or we have the thought to call and then find ourselves facing the quick pain of realizing that there would be no one on the other end. The sting can be quick, like stepping on a Lego. But it can also last, like a bite that festers. These thoughts can come regularly but they are usually manageable or at least tolerable. The cycle is the thought, the reality, the sting, the recovery. The recovery brings a little relief and the hope that "maybe I won't have another one of these feelings for a while." However, there are days when I get stuck in, what I refer to as, The Loop. The Loop happens when these thoughts occur on, you guessed it, a loop. You hav...

Grief is a funny thing. There are books about it. Many, many books. There are blogs about it… There are people, professionals, educators, academics, who study their entire career to gain insight, to gain understanding of this word. Grief. There are steps, there are phases, they are listed in a particular order in books, but the books always contain that one hated note “stages/phases of grief can come in any order. Stages/phases may repeat. You may not experience all stages/phases”. When a person grieves, when they truly grieve from the depths of their being, they seek answers. They are desperate, we are desperate, for a map. We want to hear what will happen and when, how we can get through whatever we need to get through as quickly as possible so we can return to living. The grief experts will all tell you that there is no such answer. They tell you that you have to go through it. Ride the wave. Ride the grief wave. Use these stages/phases as a guide but ride your own course. Because t...

I started this blog as an outlet for my grief.  I lost my mom in late September 2021, just 2 months after the birth of our daughter.  My mom was a single mom, and I am an only child.  She was my best friend growing up and she was a cornerstone of my family. She was a lot of things to a lot of people, but she was my mom.  She was called Ginger, Mama, Grandmama, Gigi, YaYa, Aunt Ginger, Aunt Ginner, Ginner, Ging, Gingy, and Bubbles.  My mom adored her family, she lived for her family. Family for her extended beyond her blood.  And, unlike the stereotype, my mom and my husband were great friends. They loved each other and understood each other in a way I didn’t even understand. But what she loved the most was being a Grandmama. She loved our babies.  She lived for them and now she is their angel.  I have a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice and Psychology, a master’s degree in Forensic Psychology, a lot of experience doing a lot of different jobs,...